had the biggest headache on the BART home today!

but nothing some writing and a good hair pulling (where are you, Matt?) can't fix, thank goodness!

because i ride BART three days a week, give or take one day for a Sigma Tau Delta meeting or a Word Night reading*, it's a lot of idle time spent, eighty minutes a day of just emptiness. and admittedly, none of it is really used for effective writing. i guess i don't bother because 1) the train's too crowded to move around especially if standing, to get out a paper and pen, and 2) i feel like i have to write something epic and significant (and lengthy) for such a long time.

but i want to get over that complex. and i want to be rid of boredom. boredom can kill! and as a result, i vow i'll make more an effort to write on the trains. not just anything too, but everything. free write. it really is, as i'm rediscovering from my classes, effective for stimulating the imagination, keeping my thoughts on the go, every second. and today's, Day 1, started as such:

no capital letters. that is the ultimate rule. just complicates things. this is not a diary log. nor does it bother me that this is my (one of my) favorite pens. people stare, people stand, and this pen is fading off. i have to make this pen last. then i will be bored-- and maybe i'll die. well, probably not. this keeps me occupied. because i am primarily a writer. maybe i'll bring my diary on BART. good idea! but i guess i'm not so smart. running thoughts, i'm not crazy, i'm not.

just letting those thoughts flow out and randomly settles my nerves. i'm not jittery or feel like i have things bottled up. it's out there, and if it makes no sense, at least i did write.

other side notes: Lily Kwong  is beautiful, nothing beats coming home to a made-bed, and Sacred Grounds Café is the definitive new haunt between classes.
____________________________________________________________

*Word Night was hella fun! and i do enjoy an audience-- reading live as a writer really brings out the best of what you want to achieve with your work. everyone was supportive, and it felt strange but exciting to have your own classmates and professors in the audience, alongside the new faces who happened to be legitimately interested in hearing the spoken word. Sacred Grounds itself sets the mood, with its block interiors and low-ceilings decorated with off the wall furniture and hangings, not to mention the abundance of plants for sale! just weird, but we're all weird. English is proudly weird. we have no boundaries.

if you're interested in stopping by, it will likely be at Sacred Grounds Café October 21!