I hear the birds on the summer breeze, I drive fastI am alone in the nightBeen trying hard not to get into trouble, but II’ve got a war in my mindSo, I just ride...

“Ride” by Lana Del Rey
just obsessed with this song of late.

heart and soul and laughter

now that i've switched my senior seminar piece to my novel, it's rekindled this fire i've long forgotten for this piece. i'm a novelist, i can't forget that, and it's been so long since i've tackled anything this huge. The Muse Land was my joy, a defining moment in my committment to the written word. even though it's still a raw story that i really need to edit inside/out, it's completed all the same and a full-length novel. when i can, i really do want to have it formally published somewhere.

as for The Knight and the Businessman, it's a lighter, whimsical take on issues i have towards social class and relationships. comedy is always something i feared for having little knowledge of how to create it myself. it's a hit or miss with me, but not this year. in 2013 i want to really work on my comedy, work on this new novel. what's a good writer without having a chance at all forms of writing? especially comedy, people love a good laugh anywhere in any form.

it is Saturday. find me at this desk again and at work with a serious itch on my bent brow and in the best of slouchiest comfy sweaters. i still can't decide on music, always an issue. it's so good just to have a working computer again to catch up, though being away from one definitely had its merits.

i had time to just think, read more (and get inspired again), and just reconnect with friends and what was in front of me. it was a long winter break. more like a retreat into what needs focusing. even from music. that was weird. but even as i write, this January of transcendalist nothing helps me remember to:

think about everything

pay close attention

take my time--even with these sentences it's nice to just relax and slow down the sentences. fewer.
words. more thought.

"Messy Girls," a poem

Cinderella is a raving

mad bitch.

She missed her stop at Fillmore

but that’s not the troubles weighing her down.

Of all the people,

of the chicks 9 to 5 like her

no chances of dreams

Shitting  the dress, spill the shooters

hairspray and mascara that run

things she swears over her dead body

could ever happen

ever after

Yeah she’s over it,

shouting to the rooftops

from bathroom mirrors

with pop songs on repeat

to affirm exalting madness

and over how skeptical she is

of every name tag

reading “Prince Charming.”

She’s just over it

the girl with the heart of gold

looking out to the foam slithering into Ocean Beach,

Cinderella thinks she’s caving in

With her favorite song in mind,

she’ll jump with fulfillment onto the back of the motorcycle

with Matt Helders.

Maybe she’ll kick the glass slipper and

don cream combat boots,

blowing that sinister kiss to the Prince.

four s's of 2013

SENIOR. SPRING. SEMESTER. SUBMISSIONS.

it's going to be a busy ride, especially adding onto my time this internship. this last semester is very special and important, obviously because it's not just my last semester of the school year but my LAST ONE EVER. and thank goodness my only disertation equivalent is a full creative work at least of 30 pages!

and then there's also my goals to try and submit either a letter or By Your Side to McSweeney's Quarterly Concern. how amazing would that be? but just because i'm one of their interns it doesn't mean there's perks. i have a fair to low chance just as much as any of the writers whose works i've read and liked (or rejected :x ). but it boils down to simply that i tried.

as for my senior seminar piece, yes! The Knight and the Businessman has been revived. my biggest issue with the story? how believable are my characters, especially, does the dynamic of delusion and opposites shine between the two characters, George and Geoff?



here are some of the recent issue covers of McSweeney's Quarterly Concern; can't wait to see what i can contribute in producing the next one!

helllooooooo.....from the intern at McSweeney's!!

I AM BACK.

because i have a working computer now (temporarily)!

it is (was) Sunday.

it's going to be a busy year now, especially this semester-- graduating in May! and suddenly i've gotten the one thing i've always wanted to experience: publishing and editing at the backbone of an actual house. a house like McSweeney's.

this is my second week and so far it's nonstop reading and just getting to know the editors, other interns, and designers. the head hauncho on the publishers, Dave Eggers, made his presence known and had a mass meet and greet with the interns! i was pretty nervous (freaking DAVE EGGERS) but it was nice to get to see him in person-- for that matter any notable/famous writer.

at the intern table; working and not working and reading and updating at work. i'm just too excited to actually be here!

"Eden for Peter Pan," a poem

My grand journey would begin with a swan dive. And over that edge, I would fly on. Such a journey it’d be, if we could fly, and I know where my spread arms will steer me. The rooftops from below I can see a world that shouldn’t be there. I may not have wings.

But I have a view from the 32^nd floor.

At my feet flowers look blurred, blue velvet and metallic mist dripping onto matte red that sways with the air around. Pollen like pixie dust lifts off. It tickles the nose of the man seated on bench like stiff kajal.

Flowers grow like children atop a roof. The lost boys of a youth we have moved years beyond.  In this afternoon light they sleep with eyes open, and the approaching evening marks their dance with closed faces under unstrung lights in the ceiling beyond the fog.

Anyone is a lost child here. There’s nothing wrong with falling over the edge, surrounded in splendor.

the crazy things you did for finals week

under circumstances i got into the city via BART by 7 in the morning. what i saw was so motivating and blissful for the beginning of what would be a hard week:

 

before sunrise.

San Francisco before sunrise in the cold of December is the perfect place for getting the genius going and letting loose with the essays i would be turning in for my finals week.

it was also the first of my Blue Bottle Coffee experience, too.

i like this side of a city-- in the morning, at a natural state before it puts the game face on for the rest of the day. the true lady revealed, the secrets exposed, the troubles of the night resolved in the peak of the light coming through the thick rain clouds. 

 a write spot, a cold chill, and yes, agreeably one of the best cups of coffee all before sunrise. ♥ December!